~Touchy~

Diz week is such a miserable week to me....

i feel like im being so emo and too sensitive....

ooohhhhhh...sgt x sonok of being like diz.....

sgt uncomfort to hav diz kinda feel....

rse cam im not being my own me...

hmmm....im feelin bad....

yew laa...

honestly, memyself nih bkn ceni....

memyself is not da kind yg suke2 ngade2 nk majuk2...

im not da kind yg easily get touchy...

tapi ntah laa...nape tah diz week i was like sgt touchy...

ampun dan maaf dipinta kpd semua...

x teniat nk jd gni...believe me....

bakpo gak....?? (testing to kecek klate)

hmmm....terlalu byk mikior gamoknye....

dok pikiaq hal2 kat umah....

too many things happened...

hmmm...ujian......

"Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; "Kami telah beriman," sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menguji orang-orang yang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta" 

(al-Ankabut : 2-3) 

~~ujian adalah tarbiyah dari ALLAH....apakah kita kan sabar...ataupun sebaliknya...~~

(nyanyi ngan pnoh feel, ehehe...nice song by in-team, tajok dye kehidupan..)

nati qis blk umah yew, mak....

moge my beloved mak, abah, bro Yum ngan bro Dani keep on strong in facing His test kali nih....

"Hai orang-orang yang beriman, mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan sabar dan dengan (mengerjakan) solat, sesungguhnya Allah bersama orang-orang yang sabar."

(al-Baqarah :153)

~~So when the time is hard, There’s no way to turn, As HE promise HE will always be there...~~ 

(nyanyi dgn pnoh feel again...if u guys x taw ni lagu ape, x taw laa teman...femes kott lgu nih...)

rite now jgak memyself sgt serabut ngan tasks as a student...

tp yg ni mmg padan muke to memyself laa as im not doin da works and tasks given earlier...

x baeknyee laa dok tangguh2 wat keje...astaghfirullah al-azim....

chaiyok2...!!!pasni stat wat kije...fightin!!

pastu, ditambah plak dgn perasaan homsick yg sgt membuak-buak skang nih....

nok kelik....

sabo yew....10hb mac is da date....

x lame da....

cant wait...!!!!

I am Me.......Da only Me.......

i am juz me....

my own me....

a mere me...

nothin supreme bout me...

   u r not me...

   so u're not like me...

   myb its juz me...

   coz im da only me....

i dunno why...

but rite now...

i feel like im a very bad person...

rase cm diri jahat bangett....

rasa......

.................aku x baek..............

diz RASA is RASA yg cannot be described in words...

hav u guys ever feel so...???

hmmm...i dunno how to describe diz feels...

but it bites me deeeply...

bukannye memyself rase jahat yg mcm i've killed some1...

or i feel im bad coz i've hijacked a plane...

or i feel im jahat as i've robbed BSN, Maybank and Bank Rakyat 'Bank utk anda'...

ataupun memyself rase jahat which means yg i've committed so many serious criminals which can be convicted under Penal Code of Msia...

it's not like dat...it's not...!!!

its like....emmm...cane yew nk ckp...

diz feels make me feels like im betrayin some1....

betrayin my very ownself.....

u guys mesti x phm kan.....

sowi laa...its juz so hard...

so hard for me to express diz feels in words....

xpe kome tok pehey pon...

agpon, as a human being mane laa kte ade power pon kan nk paham segale mcm perasaan owg...

ye dok??

saje nk wat curahan ati kali nih....

kome layankan jew laa entry kali ni yew...

after all ni kan mymissD....

e-Diary...

so mesti laa i do write somthin bout what i feel kan...

back to ape yg memyself dok rase skang nih...

i try to think bout diz positively..

i take diz feels as a muhasabah to memyself...

actually skang nih da rse ok sket...

sbb His ayat dlm LOVE LETTER...

klu tgok LOVE LETTER...

refer 17:25....

".....tuhanmu lbih tahu apa yg ada di dlm hatimu..."

Dia lbih tahu...Dia paham....

Dia jew yg paham pon da ckop....

its more than enuf.....

sgt btol laa what did He said b4....

13:28..

".....sesungguhnya hanya dgn mengingati Allah, hati akan m'jadi tenang......"

tenanglah wahai hati............

A Week to Remember....

Alhamdulillah...after such a long silence, i've manage to update my e-diary a.k.a. mymissd....well, too many things happened within da days dat i could not write anythin on mymissd, but Insya-Allah i'll cover up evrythings in diz entry...hehe...cam journal laa plak nk jot down evrythin, ngeh333... 

Da last entry was on 2nd February, isn't it? okay, let's freshen up..!!

3rd Feb 

still at home...being a successful fulltime housewife, ehehe...

waitin up for 4th Feb (da next day) which is da date dat im goin back to bumi Besut terchenta...ohhooii!!! 

kali ni x laa rse berat ati sgt nk blk mktab although somtimes i do feel so..

myb coz i've set up my mind yg blk ke mktab ni pon for my own good jgak kan....

tok belajar....for my studies...

after all, by studying jgak we'll get a lot of pahala kan...

if not, xdelaa Rasulullah penah b'sabda yg b'mksud, “Apabila datang kematian kepada penuntut ilmu, dan dia mati dalam keadaan itu, dia adalah syahid.” 

Syahid tuu..jgn men2...hadis ni shows to us betapa tingginya darjat to anyone who sincerely tuntut ilmu...

emm, i've also read b4 bahawasanya....“Siapa yang keluar menuntut ilmu, dia adalah di jalan Allah sehingga kembali.” Haaa...hebat x hebat kew kte yg tgh pegang title as a student nih...

so, bile kte nk kna pulang ke gagang masing2 (i mean our institute of studies laa) after holiday kat umah tu, no need to feel jiwa nan resah, batinku gelisah, harapanku punah, impianku luka berdarah (erkk lgu liza hanim???) maupun feels like hati ini hancur dan luluh keranamu (haha...skali lgu ella daaa....hihi..) 

x perlu rse sme tuu...x perlu...coz Allah suka pd org yg menuntut ilmu...^_^

4th Feb 

goin back to maktab....nek bus e-budaya...9 pm..

bus e-budaya

nyaris2 nk tetinggal bus coz da bus sudden2ly jew nk grak awal padahey mse tu lom ag kul 9...

gewam laa jgak at dat time...fuuuhhh...bile rse gewam or nk maroh, istighfar lew bebanyak....

it is said to be yg ade 1 riwayat drpd Anas r.a., katanya: "Diceritakan kepadaku bahawa iblis menangis apabila turunnya ayat 135 surah Ali `Imran yang bermaksud: Dan juga orang-orang yang apabila melakukan perbuatan keji atau menganiaya diri sendiri, mereka segera ingat kepada Allah lalu memohon ampun akan dosa mereka dan sememangnya tidak ada yang mengampunkan dosa-dosa melainkan Allah." 

Thus, slalu2 lah istighfar...safe journey oqis..=)

5th Feb 

alhamdulillah, selamat tibe di maktab terchenta....

copied from a web..ehehe...

we arrived at maktab at 6am klu x clap...

ade sowg akak j-QAF nek skali bus wif memyself, onad and osah...nme akak tu Shafinas...ktowg pggil kak inas...happening gilak akak ni...skali tgok x cm da kwen pon, upenye da ank due da...hoho...sempoooii...!!

6th -10th Feb 

**da x tlis one by one day takot kome bowink nk m'bacenye (padahey diri sendrik yg da malas,hehe..) 

as usual, kuliah b'jln sprt bese....ate kome nk nengok timetable teman??sile laaa.....

~~PISMP 1/11 PAI 1~~

hehe...pomot jdual jap, kikiki...kte smbung blk cite laaa deyh...hehe...

emm, for diz week, kak inas dok ngn ktowg...kwn kak inas named kak ya also lepaking wif us (huh?lepaking??perosak language btol laa memyself nih..aiiiii...)

such a very nice and exciting experience to get to know diz two akak....both of 'em sgt2 bez...

both are graduated from al-azhar, mesir...kak inas amek Arab..kak ya amek Qiraat (she's also hafizah...ebak2...)

dgr dowg cite2 psl dowg pye pengalaman blaja & pengalaman dlm idop mmg masyuuuukk...

rse cm da knal lme sgt ngn akak2 nih wlopon snanye bru sminggu jew dok lepak skali.....

ukhwah fillah....dekat di ati.........^_^

on 8th feb, at 10.20 pm, memyself, onad, ana, osah, oini, kak inas & kak ya x semena-mena jew b'gabung tenaga menerjah cafe...hehe...x penah di wat dek ktowg tetbe p cafe memalam...

akak2 ni nk blanje...hehe...pew ag kan..bak kate pepatah, rezki jgn ditolak, maut jgn dicari...hihi...

mlm tu memyself dpt mamam kuetiow kungfu yg sodap + delicious+ marvellous + enak skali tmbah2 ag sbb makan free..ngehh333...

kuetiow kungfu..wachaaa!!!

on dat nite, we're havin fun smpy nk dkat kul 12...hehe...havin fun juz makan2 & borak2 laa...sonok bangett..!!

licin...!!!!

beshnyeww laa klu akak2 j-QAF ni ade lame ngn ktowg...tp apekan daye....

we only hav diz week wif them as program j-QAF ni dye cam kursus jew...

dowg akn dtg tem cti skolah plak kat mktab ni which means ktowg plak yg xde kat maktab tem tu...xpe laa...ajal, maut, jodoh, pertemuan sume di tgn Allah...ade rezki Insya-Allah kte jupe ag kan..??kan??

da next day which is on 9th feb, ktowg plak blanje akak2 ni at Demong Restaurant...waaahh cm vouge jew plak kan sbot Demong Restaurant..huhuu...sdap2 mkanan kat cni..."btol2 ho liau!!!hohoho.." (tiru gaye pkcik dlm iklan ho liau ni, eheh) after makan2 there, all of us went to umah kak ya plak yg t'ltak di lorong muafakat...(igt nme lorong jew hehehe)...dpt laa jupe anak kak ya named najah aqilah...buas bangett sih anak itu...hehe...cute jew cm mak dye...

10th feb.........da laz day ngn akak2 nih....wlopon bru smggu kte kenal, tp rse sgt close...a week to remember wif both of u...sodeyh pon ade...tp xpe..kte sure akan jupe ag ek kak inas and kak ya...insya-Allah...we luv both of u...!!!

sweet memory wif kak inas & kak ya

i would like to dedicate diz wonderful song to kak inas & kak ya...doa perpisahan...enjoy...

Pertemuan kita di suatu hari
Menitipkan ukhuwah yang sejati
Bersyukurku kehadap Illahi
Di atas jalinan yang suci

Namun kini perpisahan yang terjadi
Dugaan yang menimpa diri
Bersabarlah diatas suratan
Kutetap pergi jua

Kan kuutuskan salam ingatanku
Dalam doa kudusku sepanjang waktu
Ya Allah bantulah hamba-Mu

Mencari hidayah dari pada-Mu
Dalam mendidikan kesabaranku
Ya Allah tabahkan hati hamba-Mu
Diatas perpisahan ini

Teman betapa pilunya hatiku
Menghadapi perpisahan ini
Pahit manis perjuangan
Telah kita rasa bersama
Semoga Allah meredhai
Persahabatan dan perpisahan ini
Teruskan perjuangan

Kan kuutuskan salam ingatanku
Dalam doa kudusku sepanjang waktu
Ya Allah bantulah hamba-Mu

Senyuman yang tersirat di bibirmu
Menjadi ingatan setiap waktu
Tanda kemesraan bersimpul padu
Kenangku di dalam doamu
Semoga... Tuhan berkatimu...

we gonna meet again....definitely...wif His grant...insya-Allah....^_^

Hepi Anniversary to Me........

FEBRUARI 2010...

(2/2/2010)

such a very special & precious date to me...

bakhet pok??(m'bawa mksud knape yew?? eceh kecek filipinoz sket,hihi...)

its not special bcoz diz is my dob (date of birth)....ish3, absolutely salah ok...mine is 18 july (pomot sket, ehehe)...

bkn gak sbb diz is my mom, dad, abg, adek2, opah, pkcik mkcik or rakan taulan pye dob.....ohh tidakk2...sme tu x benar blake....

100% silap jgak if u guys think dat diz date was somthin bout som1 special in my life....ohh again & again da answer is no...salah tuu....msih menanti bile som1 special ni nak mncul......teetttttt...!!!

hmm...ape ag klu nk dikatekan dat diz date i've won a loteri....hahahaha....salah, salah & salah......!!!!

adakah anda mule bce diz entry dgn dahi berkedut & berkerut???

atau anda mle rse nk hangin dgn memyself merangkap penulis entry ni??

or mgkin jge anda mle rse clueless yg x dpt dibendung disamping rse curious yg memuncak-muncak??

atau myb jgak anda mle tepikir utk juz klik pangkah (x) tok exit from diz page??

adakah reaksi anda sebegini skang nih..???

SABAR...nti dlu....aloh2...bru nk bg thrill + saspen sket...huhuuu....

a year ago......

i've got da chance to get to know my own me...

i've got da chance to change da old me....

thanks to Him coz giving me up diz 'feel'....

da feel which has brought me to my new me....

Alhamdulillah...da staun memyself moved on from da old me to diz new me....moved on ape??ermmm...its my appearance actually.....Alhamdulillah again & again....moge2 istiqamah, insya-Allah....

ramai yg kate nak berubah ni bknnye senang.....it will deeply tearing inside....its gonna need a lot of sacrifices....it will test us sekuat mane our ownselves ni.....& we hav to face many obstacles dlm usaha tok berubah nih....

well, i hav to admit dat tok berubah mmg bkn senang, but its not impossible if we really want to...tol x??

bak kata pepatah, "nk 1000 daya, tanak 10000000000000000 dalih...." Karam Singh Walia melaporkan utk mymissd.blogspot...ecehh, huhuu....

jom kte ikuti dialog2 femes yg saban kali terlintas di gegendang telinga kte sume bile topik berubah ni di ke udarakan x kesa laa sme ade di kaca tv, di corong2 radio maupon di layar putih wayang kulit...

kawe letih doh nok bruboh....susoh!

alaaa...aku da mmg ceni nk wat gane lagi...

alaaa...nti ape plak org kate....segan jew...

skang pon da ok da, nk ubah ape ag.....

aloh...org lain elok jew, ate ngapenye teman nk sebok2 transfom...

mkcik, opah ngn kkak sy x sruh sy brubah pon...

ilek suda.......

and so many other excuses yg xkan pnah abez klu nk di list one by one.......

hav u eva heard 'org yg bejaye ialah org yg m'jadikan 1001 msalahnye sbg 1 cabaran mnakale org yg gagal ialah org yg m'jadikan 1001 msalhnye sbg 1 alasan'....x pnah dgr ek..??hehe wat2 laa mcm bese dgr...diz phrase mnunjukkan pd kte yg kte ni snanye kompem2 jew boley nk wat ssuatu tu x kire laa apepon asalkan kte ade effort...jgn keep on giving excuses jew, klu x smpai bile pon x kan t'capainye ape yg kte nak 2...cm yg Karam Singh Walia kate kat ats td...nk 100 daye, tanak 100000000000 dalih......

hmmm...pasal berubah ni pon ade dalil.....jom usha sesame....

 “….Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengubah keadaan/nasib sesuatu kaum itu sehingga mereka sendiri mengubah keadaan/nasib mereka…."(13:11)....

maknenye, smenye kne dtg dr diri kte sndrik...dr effort kte sndrik....

nk kew xnk....

mau kew x tamau....

yes or no....

well or hell...???

WE CHOOSE....

tp bila da mampu berubah jgn plak kte rse kte da CUKUP...

kte kne sntiasa upgrade iman & diri so dat kite x lalai dlm idop...

like memyself sndrik, by being me now, doesnt mean yg skang nih i'm all good....

byk lagik yg nk kne improve.....byk ag yg nk kne blaja....too many2 things nk kne repair...

plg penting berubah tu msti laa Lillahitaala....

same2 laa kte BERUBAH tok jd yg lbey baek....

coz................

CHANGE FOR GOOD IS NOT A CRIME......^_^

~~ DaTe ^_^ ~~

TADAAAAA...!!!

tekejut kew....ohhoii cek mek molek....ohhooii...(gaye johan RL tiru eric leong dlm capalrela)

hehehe...kesengetan again & again....illness yg x taw when is goin to be cured...huhu....

im so hepi today...wanna know why?? ahah!! b4 dat, say what people...?? say Alhamdulillah....hepi2 jgak, but dont forget to thank Him...its not tem susah jew bru kte nk igt kat Dia....right??

keHEPIan melande jiwaku..hihi

ok now smbung blk..hehe....iklan sket td...hehe..suke beno wat iklan kan...hihihi...xpelaa klu iklan tu tok same2 m'igtkan pew salahnye ye dok?? kew guano?? hehe...aiseyy kecek la plop...kikiki..

errmm why hepi yew...??diz is due to my date today....hehe...sonok bangett dpt jupe my besties...wani, azu & shap....hang out kat mid td...our xtvt makan2 & borak2...hohoh...klu lame x jupe mmg g2 laa kan...plus, we r gurls okay...get my point?? huhu..x phm?? tok pehey suda, sila google search...eheh!!

klu nk disingkap (cewah singkap tu,huhu...) sejarah awal perkenalan ktowg, evrythin begins at Dorm 42...klu x silap patik dorm 42 ni diberi name Zinnirah...

we r very close temasok laa ngn akak2 f4 dorm tu...even when we r f3, ktowg stil rapat....wlopn tem f3 tu msing2 da len2 dorm tp we're stil stick on together...klu nk p makan at dewan makan pon akn jerit2 pggil nme....nk pi clas pepagi pon akn goin together-gether...aiii windunye laa zmn memude....hehe...

when it comes to f4, everythins changed.......shap pinda skola...pas2 wani plak follow up pinda skola....yg tggal only memyself & azu...but we didnt juz stop bcoz of dat....we still keep in touch...igt ag dok men balas2 surat ngn wani...ohhooii, kiut plak rse men surat2...huhuuu....

Alhamdulillah.....smpy skang ktowg still rapat...rapat yg walau x jupe lme mne pon ttap rse dkat jew ngn ati...it doesnt mean if u consider urself rapat ngn som1, u hav to sntiase ad kat sblah dye, sntiase text & call dye....NO it's not...!! its more than dat.........its more.....

its hard to believe

dat i couldnt see

u're always there beside me

thought i was alone

wif no one to hold

but u're always right beside me

diz feelings like no other

i want u to know

i neva had som1

dat knows me like u do

da way u do

and i neva had som1

as gud for me is u

no one like u

so lonely b4

i finally found

what i've been lookin for...

i like diz song very much...lgu dr high school musical....well, diz song is exclusively dedicated to wani, azu & shap...i luv u guys very very very much...^_^

-shap-wani-oqis-azu-
date @ midvalley on 1/2/2011

i've read b4 dat Rasulullah SAW pnah bersabda yang bermaksud, “Orang Mukmin itu mengasihani saudaranya seperti mana ia mengasihani dirinya sendiri."

hopin dat kte same2 t'golong in diz category....

Rasulullah SAW gak ade bersabda yang bermaksud:

“Kasihanilah mereka yang berada di bumi nescaya kamu akan dikasihi oleh mereka yang tinggal di langit".

so, marilah kte sume berkasih syg...^_^

moge ukhwah kte ukwah fillah & kekal abadan abada......^_^